Essay 2 peer response Two benefits of peer response: 1) you get critical feedback from a classmate on your paper before submitting it for a grade; 2) examining the strengths and weaknesses of others' writing can help you recognize strengths and weaknesses in your own writing.
How it works: You read your peer's draft critically, then respond with advice on how the paper might be improved. When you're finished, give the paper and your written response back to the author. Later, read your classmate's comments on your own essay, and if you agree with the suggestions, revise your paper accordingly, addressing the problems and weaknesses noted by your peer.
Turn in your classmate's response to your work along with your paper when you turn in the final draft tomorrow.
Get mean (in a kind way): While you might comment on the paper's strengths, your primary concern is to focus on its weaknesses, particularly in the areas of focus, logic, structure, and overall development. Be tactful and considerate in your comments, but critical all the same—do it nicely, but "let 'em have it." Praise and back-patting will not help your peer improve his or her paper.
Important: You may make brief notes on your classmate's draft, but write your response to the questions below on separate paper (and not on this handout). Indicate your name as "Peer" and your classmate's name as "Author." Your response should be, at the least, approximately 1½-2 pages.
Instructions: Read the entire paper and then answer the following questions in order. Your comments are not restricted to these questions alone, though: any and all advice you can offer that might help your classmate improve the paper is appropriate.
1. Point out aspects of the introduction that could be more effective. Consider especially whether the opening is interesting or attention-grabbing. Also suggest more broad, general information the author might give before leading into the thesis statement, which should be the last sentence in the first paragraph. If the introduction isn't at least approximately half a page in length, make specific suggestions for expanding the paragraph.
2. Make suggestions for improving the thesis statement itself. Consider specifically whether the thesis truly indicates the author's main point (or points) for the entire essay. If the thesis doesn't appear to include points made in the essay's topic sentences, suggest ways for incorporating those points into the thesis.
3. Does the topic as a whole seem a worthwhile issue to address in a college-level essay? Does it actually "teach" the reader something he or she may not have known before reading the paper? Explain, and make suggestions for improving the author's approach to the topic as a whole.
4. Does the body of the discussion follow the main view(s) set forth in the thesis? Does it seem to stray in places, addressing a different issue from the stated main point(s) in the thesis? Indicate particular parts of different paragraphs where the discussion gets away from focusing on the central issue indicated in the thesis statement.
5. More specifically, evaluate the topic sentence of each body paragraph and make suggestions for improvement. Does each topic sentence repeat the appropriate key words from the thesis? Which topic sentence seems the strongest, and why? Which the weakest, and why? Explain.
6. Comment on the author's repetition of key words from the topic sentences throughout each body paragraph. On the essay itself, circle the key words in each topic sentence and note places in each body paragraph where the key words (or closely related words) are not repeated as much as they should be.
7. Are there body paragraphs that need more development? Whether they do or not, suggest an additional example or two that might help the author improve each body paragraph: make the examples specific: include specific concrete details the author might add to improve each body paragraph.
8. Are there places where the author makes more than a single major point in any body paragraph? Should any paragraphs be divided or rearranged? If so, where are they?
9. Which one of the author's main points (body paragraphs) is least effective? Explain why and suggest specific improvements. Are any other points (body paragraphs) also ineffective? If so, why? and how could they be improved?
10. Evaluate the the effectiveness of the conclusion. Does it leave the reader impressed with the culmination of the writer's argument, or does it just fizzle out? Does it reiterate the thesis (without repeating it word for word)? Explain. If the conclusion is less than roughly half a page in length, make specific suggestions for lengthening it.
11. On the draft itself, identify problems in grammar, diction, punctuation, etc. Most importantly, note any sentence fragments (GR5), comma splices (GR7), fused (run-on) sentences (GR6), problems in subject-verb agreement, problems in pronoun-antecedent agreement (GR3), and spelling problems. Mark all grammatical errors that you can find.