Peer response 4
You should definitely know the peer
response drill by now: the key is that you be tactfully critical
so that you will help your classmate improve his or her paper.
Your comments and suggestions are
not limited to the items below. Read the paper through once completely,
then concentrate on these primary areas:
- Effectiveness of the introductionpoint
out weaknesses and make specific suggestions for improving the paragraph
in any respects needed. If the introduction is less than half a page in length,
suggest concrete ways of developing the paragraph more effectively.
- Make specific suggestions for
improvement of the thesis statement or statement of purpose. First consider
whether the introduction ends with a clear indication of the paper's overall
point or central focus. Does the thesis or statement of purpose include both
men and women? Does it address the assignment squarely by reiterating key
words from the assignment itself? Other weaknesses?
- Consider the overall focus of
the essaylook
for places where the paper might be straying from the stated central topic
(or thesis). Pay especial attention to each body paragraph's opening sentence:
does each paragraph open with a strong topic sentence reiterating the key
words from the thesis or statement of purpose? Suggest specific improvements
in topic sentences.
- Consider whether the author treats
cultural expectations in roughly equal proportions for both men and women.
Explain where the discussion seems too thin or out of balance and suggest
improvements.
- Make specific suggestions for
improvement in structure or organization. Is the organization of body paragraphs
effective? Is the logic of the organization of paragraphs treating men and
women effective? Would the author do better to move or rearrange paragraph
order in places?
- Point out any of the various cultural
expectations that need more development or explanation. Make specific suggestions
for how to develop any of these expectations or stereotypes in need of more
elaboration.
- Point out any places where the
author should be more thorough in explaining the problems caused by a particular
stereotype or cultural expectation. Does the author usually consider how people
suffer both if they follow and if they defy gender expectations?
- Point out paragraphs that seem
too brief or undevelopedor
too long and "busy." Make specific suggestions for
improving underdeveloped paragraphs: don't just say "explain more";offer
concrete, helpful suggestions. If paragraphs are too long, suggest where the
points might be divided into separate, more effective units.
- Any points not convincingly explained?
What makes them unconvincing? Offer specific suggestions for improvement.
- Effectiveness of conclusionmake
very specific suggestions for improving or sharpening the thesis statement.
If the conclusion is less than roughly half a page in length, suggest specific
ways of expanding the paragraph.
- Effectiveness of quotations. Do
they offer significant support for the author's claims, or do any seem simply
"thrown in" to meet the assignment requirements? Suggest specific articles
or passages that the author might quote to illustrate the paper's primary
assertions more effectively.
- Point out any quotations that
need more comment or explanation.
- Grammar, mechanics, and and word
choicespecial
attention to GR, Nugget, QD, SS, and WP items.