Peer response 5

Your comments and suggestions are not limited to the items below.  Read the paper through once completely, then concentrate on these primary areas:

• Does the introduction establish the problem the author proposes to solve in the body of the paper? If not, suggest what problem the author seems to be addressing in the body of the essay, and make specific suggestions for how to establish (or better establish) the central problem in the introduction.

• Does the author explain how or why the problem is an important matter that needs to be solved? Offer specific suggestions for how the author might more effectively establish the importance of the problem or the topic more generally.

• Make specific suggestions for improvement of the intro question, thesis statement, or statement of purpose. First consider whether the introduction ends with a clear indication of the paper's overall point or central focus. Then consider whether the topic overall is viable: does the author set up an issue that is truly worthy of exploration in a college-level essay? Other weaknesses in the topic or in the question, thesis, or statement of purpose?

• Effectiveness of the introduction in other respects—point out weaknesses and make specific suggestions for improving the paragraph in any respects needed. If the introduction is less than half a page in length, suggest concrete ways of developing the paragraph more effectively.

• Consider the overall focus of the essay throughout—look for places where the paper seems to stray from the stated central topic. Pay especial attention to each body paragraph's opening sentence: does each paragraph open with a strong topic sentence reiterating the key words from the question, thesis, or statement of purpose? Suggest specific improvements in topic sentences.

• Consider the placement and the effectiveness of the opposing viewpoint, and suggest specific improvements. Among other things, consider whether the opposing view precedes the author's own views as it should (as in persuasive format, even if the author presents a thesis in the introduction). Is the author is fair and thorough with the other side of the argument? Does the opposing viewpoint present a legitimate "other side" to the discussion, where the opponents think either that there is really no problem in need of "solving" or where the opponents propose a solution different from the author's?

• Make specific suggestions for improvement in structure or organization. Would the author do better to rearrange paragraph order in places?

• Point out paragraphs that seem too brief or undeveloped—or too long and "busy."  Make specific suggestions for improving underdeveloped paragraphs: don't just say "explain more"; offer concrete, helpful suggestions. If paragraphs are too long, suggest where the points might be divided into separate, more effective units.

• Any points within body paragraphs not convincingly explained?  What makes them unconvincing?  Offer specific suggestions for improvement.

• Effectiveness of conclusion—make very specific suggestions for improving or sharpening the thesis statement. If the conclusion is less than roughly half a page in length, suggest specific ways of expanding the paragraph.

• Effectiveness of research: does the author bring in significant support for the paper's major claims, or do the quotes and other references from outside sources seem "thrown in" to meet the assignment requirements? Suggest types of sources the author might explore to find more effective research: newspaper articles, for instance, or specific types of magazines or journals that might contain articles on the topic. 

• Point out any quotations that need more comment or explanation.

• Grammar, mechanics, and and word choice—special attention to GR, Nugget, QD, SS, and WP items.