Peer Response 3

Your comments and suggestions are not restricted to the numbered items below: if other ideas for improving the paper occur to you, share them.  Feel free to mark on the draft, but write your response to the questions below on separate paper. And in a tactful way, be mean!  Be critical!

1. After reading the draft through a first time, state your initial impression of it.

2. Evaluate the introduction and make suggestions for improvement. Consider:

  • Is the intro a fully developed paragraph? Too brief? Suggest how the intro could be developed more effectively: make your suggestions specific.
  • Any places where the intro is choppy? Suggest transitions where needed.
  • Consider whether the paragraph flows smoothly into the central question. Suggest improvements for leading into the question.
  • Suggest improvements in the question itself. Does it set up the issue or topic that the body of the paper actually addresses?
  • 3. Copy and paste the topic sentence of each body ¶ into your response. If there is no obvious topic sentence in any body ¶, suggest one. Make suggestions for improving existing topic sentences—note that each topic sentence should answer the central question squarely and directly. Also copy and evaluate the thesis statement, which should appear in the conclusion.

    4. Evaluate the author's analysis of Williams's play or the O'Connor story(ies). Consider especially whether the essay is truly analytical: are there places of plot summary the writer needs to address or remove? Also consider whether you think the author's interpretation of the work(s) is supported by the literature itself. Can you make additional suggestions for any better, more effective points to make on the topic?

    5. Evaluate the author's use of quotations from the play or story(ies).

    6. Identify the weakest point in the body of the paper and make concrete, specific suggestions for improvement.

    7. Identify the second weakest point in the body of the paper and here, too, make concrete, specific suggestions for improvement.

    8. Identify places where the paper needs more evidence or illustration to make points more effective and offer specific suggestions.

    9. Evaluate the effectiveness of the conclusion. If the conclusion is less than roughly half a page in length, suggest specific ways of expanding the paragraph.

    10. Suggest improvements in the author's use of quotations from secondary sources (i.e. research). Do the sources appear to be scholarly, or can you tell if they are "just websites"? How are they successful, or not, in conveying the essay's basic analysis of the play? Suggest improvements.

    11. Grammar and mechanics—especially "simple stuff," golden rules, nuggets, word problems, and quotations matters.